How to boost your confidence as a new mom

If you sometimes find yourself in the mirror questioning your abilities, feeling unsure and inadequate about your new role as a mom, here is how to boost your confidence as a new mom.

One of the most beautiful gifts life can offer you is the opportunity to be a mom, but, if we are really being honest, it sometimes leaves you doubting yourself.

From the body changes, the sleepless nights, the unpronounced pressure to suddenly “knowing it all” because of course, you are now a mom, to the fear of not meeting up to the societal expectations of being a good mother.

Regaining your self confidence as a new mom takes a gradual process. It takes one step at a time so, in this post I am going to share simple practical ways on how you can boost your confidence as a new mom, trust your self more and embrace your new life with courage because that’s your new normal.

Why it is important to boost your confidence as a new mom

 You are the first person to teach your newborn how to trust the world and themselves .

They need to look at you and believe you when you tell them “I got this!” Whether it’s knowing when the baby is hungry, tired, or simply needs some diaper change.Raising confident children is not  magic, it starts from having a confident mother who doesn’t second guess her decision every time. Babies are observant, they learn and they practice.

Feeling anxious is not the best way to bond with your child. Your little one picks up on your emotions; when you are relaxed and secure it strengthens the emotional connection between you and your baby.

Confidence spills into every relationship. From having better communication with your partner, setting healthy boundaries with extended family to openly asking and accepting help from others.

Common reasons new moms loose confidence

Some of the things first time moms struggle with

• Postpartum body changes

After childbirth, most new mothers experience a whole lot of body changes. weight gain, change in complexion, stretch marks and even the “famous” mummy pouch.

For a society that expects nothing but perfection, a banging body, a glowing skin, believe me when I say these unexpected changes affects a new mother’s self worth and confidence.

When I had my first baby, nobody prepared my mind for the kind of changes I began to experience. I had stretch marks all over my belly and hips.

From being a size 6 to 12, I couldn’t fit into my old clothes anymore. My feet increased from 8 to 10. Each time I walked past the mirror, I felt like I was in someone’s body. Gradually, I began to avoid the mirror and for sometime I struggled with accepting my new body.

• Sleep deprivation and exhaustion 

Those first weeks of trying to adjust to your new life could really be challenging for new moms. Staying  up most of the nights leaves you feeling drained, foggy and irritable.

When you’re constantly tired, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. This exhaustion sometimes makes the new moms doubt their capabilities of handling motherhood.

I had enough help especially from my mum when I had my first child. Unfortunately, she died before I could have my second.

The day we got back from the hospital, my mother in law was so exhausted she dozed off almost immediately we got home. That night, Nathan cried so much and refused to sleep, with all the pains of episiotomy and exhaustion from prolonged labour, confused and unsure if I had made the right decision birthing another child, I broke down into tears.

My husband was with my older son who had just got discharged from the hospital same day, my mother in labour had stayed up the previous night with me at the hospital so I couldn’t wake her.

Looking back, I smile, but in the moment, I felt like such a failure. It taught me that exhaustion doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom; it just means I’m human.

• Social media comparison with “perfect moms”

Scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, it’s easy to feel like other moms have it all together; the spotless home, the stylish outfits, the smiling baby.

What’s often hidden are the struggles behind those photos. Comparing your real-life mess to someone else’s highlight reel can seriously damage confidence. In Nigeria, we say “believe everything you see on social media at your own peril”.

• Pressure from family or cultural expectations

In many cultures, motherhood comes with traditions, rules, and plenty of unsolicited advice. Family members may insist on how things should be done, leaving a new mom feeling judged or inadequate if she does it differently. This pressure can create guilt and self-doubt, especially when she just wants to find her own rhythm.

I remember when I chose to exclusively breastfeed my baby, my mom protested and even threatened to give him water in my absence. After one month of unwillingly watching me do it my way, she came to terms with it.

Her intentions were good, but the constant reminders of “this is how we did it” made me feel guilty. It took courage to remind myself that while traditions are beautiful, I had to do what worked best for me and my baby.

• Lack of experience with newborn

First-time moms especially, everything feels new and uncertain; From breastfeeding struggles to soothing a crying baby. It can seem like everyone else knows what to do while she’s fumbling. This inexperience can lead to constant second-guessing, making her feel like she’s not “good enough” at being a mom.

In the past, when my baby cries in public and people around stare, I would think perhaps there was something I didn’t do right. In one occasion, I had found myself apologising because my baby was crying (laughs).

Anxiety and fear of looking inexperienced in people’s eyes really dealt with me. It took serious mental restructuring to accept that it’s okay for babies to cry wherever they choose to and you owe no one an apology when they do.

Practical Ways to improve Your Confidence as a New Mom

Embrace Your Postpartum Body

One of the basic steps on how to boost your confidence as a new mom, is embracing your new body. Life is about transitions and every transition comes with its physiological changes.

It may seem difficult at first, but you have to gradually accept your new body and own it like a queen. The moment I accepted that I was no longer a size 6, I gladly joined the big, bold and beautiful “geng”.

It’s your body, call the shots, don’t let the society tell you what you should look like. You can start by wearing clothes that match your new size and learning to feel comfortable in the them. Trust me queen, that’s one good step to boost your confidence as a mom.

look yourself in the mirror with pride and admiration. Constantly remind yourself that this new body is the new deal and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Positive affirmations can slowly help you boost your confidence.

And your scars? They are proof of the miracle you created, wear them with absolute pride mama. See the beauty in your scars, teach yourself to be comfortable with it.

My mom had diastass recti after birthing six beautiful children, I never saw her feel ashamed or uncomfortable about it. To think my elder sister had bought a belly wrap for her so that she could fit into body con dresses but she turned it down.

Educate yourself about baby care

As a new mom, you may not know a lot of things about baby sleep, feeding, milestones, or their health. You can read books, good educative books from experienced and trusted sources. Seek advice where you are uncertain but be sure it’s from reliable sources.

Attending a mom group, watching tutorials, or talking to your paediatrician can reassure you that you’re learning and growing. Remember, nobody is born knowing how to be a mother, it’s something we all learn along the way.

I was abroad with my first pregnancy unsure of how to go about motherhood with just my husband who was also as inexperienced as me. The language barrier wasn’t also helping matters, so even if I wanted to ask other mothers in the country, I couldn’t.

One day, I was bold enough to speak with a client that knew little English and she recommended a book on everything I needed to know about pregnancy, postpartum and parenting. That helped me boost my confidence as a mom more than I expected.

Now, besides asking a few professionals whom I have also come to know, anytime I start second guessing myself I run to my books for clarification.

Build a Support System

Motherhood wasn’t meant to be done alone. For generations, women raised children within villages and close-knit communities, there was always someone to help, guide, and reassure. But for many new moms today, especially those living abroad or away from family, that built-in support network is missing. thus, the need to intentionally create a support system that works for you.

Support can come in different forms

• Other moms on the same journey as you

Sometimes sharing your experiences and seeing others nod in affirmation and say “me too” can really ease the weight on your shoulders. My university friends whom I hadn’t seen for eight years visited me some time ago. Before we knew it, everyone was sharing their motherhood stories, the chaotic yet beautiful experiences each of us had.

At the end of the day, I noticed how happy and free I was. Knowing that this “new mom thing” was not peculiar to me was enough therapy for me to get my confidence back on track.

• Family members who help practically

If you have family nearby, it’s okay to let them babysit, tidy up or cook for you sometimes. With this you get to have a little “me time”. And if you don’t, video calls can make you feel supported as well.

• Online communities or mom groups

There are lots of mom support groups on Facebook, instagram or motherhood blogs and other social media platforms you can join. A group of women who encourage one another, share tips and experiences amongst themselves. These mothers share their stories and believe me when I say you would stop thinking the worst of yourself when you hear some of their stories.

What is important is learning to ask and accept help. Understanding that it is not a sign of weakness to let others assist you. Confidence doesn’t mean doing everything yourself, it means knowing when to lean on others. That said, now, get your pen and paper, write down three people you can reach out to for support even if it’s just a phone call. That’s your starting point for building your village.

Confidence Mantras for New Moms 

• I am the best mom for my baby.

• My body is strong and beautiful for all it has done.

• Every small win I achieve makes me stronger.

• It’s okay to ask for help — I don’t have to do it all alone.

• My journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

• I trust my instincts, and I am learning every day.

• I am enough, just as I am.

self care

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Simple acts like eating nourishing meals, resting when you can, moving your body with gentle exercises, or enjoying a hobby you love can restore your energy and self-worth. When you feel better physically and mentally, you’ll naturally feel more confident in your role as a mom.

Stop the comparison game

Comparing yourself to others, especially on social media, is one of the quickest ways to lose confidence. Behind every “perfect mom” post, there’s a reality you don’t see. If certain accounts make you feel less-than, mute or unfollow them. Instead, fill your feed with real, encouraging voices that remind you motherhood is messy, beautiful, and different for everyone.

Communicate with your partner

Confidence as a new mom doesn’t come from carrying the entire weight of parenting on your shoulders. It grows stronger when you know you’re not alone in the journey. Your partner may not fully understand what you’re experiencing; the hormonal shifts, the body changes, the emotions. When you open up honestly, it creates space for support and teamwork.

Start by sharing your fears and insecurities. It could be as simple as saying, “I feel overwhelmed when the baby cries and I can’t calm her,” or “I sometimes doubt if I’m doing a good job.” These small moments of honesty allow your partner to step in with encouragement, reassurance, or practical help.

It’s also important to share the mental load of parenting. New moms often carry invisible responsibilities like remembering feeding times, doctor’s appointments, or keeping track of baby supplies. Communicating openly about these tasks and asking your partner to share them lightens the load and helps you feel less stressed  and less stress means more confidence.

When my younger son arrived, we all got so busy with him, house chores and work that most times we would forget to feed his older brother. Everyone was expecting me to remember his feeding time, manage the baby and also the entire house. When the whole thing became burdensome, I reached out to my dear husband. I told him I was struggling with the entire thing. He apologised and took on Austin’s (my older son) responsibility; his bathing, feeding, school runs and all.

Don’t forget that communication is a two-way street. Encourage your partner to share their own feelings too. Becoming a parent is an adjustment for both of you, and by talking openly, you strengthen not just your parenting but also your relationship.

When partners communicate honestly, confidence grows because a mom feels seen, heard, and supported, not just as a mother, but as a woman too.

Every mom, no matter how experienced, has moments of doubt. Feeling unsure doesn’t mean you’re failing, it simply means you’re human. Confidence doesn’t appear overnight; it grows little by little, with every new experience, every small win, and every lesson learned along the way

Too often, new moms extend grace to everyone else but hold themselves to impossible standards. Remind yourself daily: “I’m doing my best, and that is enough.” Instead of criticizing yourself for mistakes, treat yourself with the same compassion you’d show another mom or your child. Being gentle with yourself is one of the most powerful steps toward confidence.

What’s one small step you will take today to boost your confidence as a mom?

Your journey to confidence doesn’t have to start with big changes. It maybe;

1. Choosing to rest when the baby naps.
2. Writing down one thing you did well today.
3. Reaching out to a friend or family member for support.

Confidence grows in small, consistent steps. Think about one simple action you can take today and start there.

So, mama, what’s one small step you will take today to boost your confidence as a new mom?

Let’s Keep The Conversation Going

I’d love to hear from you, mama, what’s one small step you’ll take today to boost your confidence as a new mom? Share your thoughts in the comments below; your story might be the encouragement another mom needs to read today.

And if this post spoke to your heart, don’t forget to share it with a fellow mom who could use a reminder that she’s not alone. You can also subscribe to My New Normal by Chy so you never miss more motherhood tips and encouragement.